Have you ever stopped and asked yourself…Are you a fixer?
Wanting to fix people’s problems seems like the logical thing to do doesn’t it? If someone is coming to you with a problem, they always want a solution right?
When someone talks to you about a problem sometimes they are simply seeking emotional support. The urge to fix someone’s problem can be very strong but here is a couple of reasons why you shouldn’t:
1. When you automatically go into fixing mode you are not listening to that person entirely. You are already thinking of a solution before they have finished telling you their problem!
2. You are assuming they do not have the solution within themselves… Have you ever been talking something through and had that moment of ‘AH HA! THAT is what I need to do! Sometimes allowing someone to come up with a solution themselves can be the most empowering thing you can do for them!
3. You are assuming they WANT a solution. Occasionally people just want someone to listen, empathise and validate what is going on for them to assist acceptance of a situation which they can’t control.
But… sometimes people are looking to you for a solution. If so, just ensure you have listened to their problem first and deliver the options as suggestions rather than telling them what to do. Listen to understand, not to answer.